The decision to leave London was pretty easy, although no one would blame me for sticking around until The Pats/Giants game. I could have busied myself with some theatre in the West End, or a fox hunt or two; but frankly, I was getting sick of British teeth, and the game will suck anyway. The Giants will be lucky to put together 8 wins this season. They are already complaining that the beds at Giant‘s training camp are too uncomfortable and want ownership to supply them with softer mattresses. No wonder Justin Tuck had to be talked off the ledge. How can you expect a professional athlete to put up with a lumpy mattress used by, shutter, a college kid…
Actually, that’s partially a lie. The decision to flee came shortly after Nadzeya Ostapchuk, the ‘female’ shot putter from Belarus who was just stripped of her Gold Medal for doping, ripped a sink out of the men’s room wall and chucked it at my head after an off-hand observation that women don’t normally pee standing up. But that’s a story for another time. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
Perhaps the biggest news of the day is that Kelly Clarkson has co-written a new anthem for the Dallas Cowboys called ‘Get Up’, and honestly, nothing would get me out of my chair faster than a Kelly Clarkson song. Every day it becomes more and more apparent that the NFL is sick and tired of being America’s Number One Spectator Sport and are doing everything in their power to wussify the game for that rare level of mass acceptance available only to the most mediocre of entertainment options.
Reality TV shows at training camp, a shirtless Tebow in GQ for God, The Falcons’ Harry Douglas refusing to return punts in the pre-season (of course, The Falcons hold camp at a place called Flowery Branch, so what do you expect?).
I just received a call from the Grammar Nazis that I am not allowed to use commas inside parenthesis, but I’m not going to fix it. I told them I had to catch a train to the dedication of the memorial to Mussolini’s buddy Rodolfo Graziani just outside of Rome and they were OK with that. Heck, even the Pope is OK with that. The Vatican is sending a representative too…
Actually, that’s partially a lie. The decision to flee came shortly after Nadzeya Ostapchuk, the ‘female’ shot putter from Belarus who was just stripped of her Gold Medal for doping, ripped a sink out of the men’s room wall and chucked it at my head after an off-hand observation that women don’t normally pee standing up. But that’s a story for another time. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
Perhaps the biggest news of the day is that Kelly Clarkson has co-written a new anthem for the Dallas Cowboys called ‘Get Up’, and honestly, nothing would get me out of my chair faster than a Kelly Clarkson song. Every day it becomes more and more apparent that the NFL is sick and tired of being America’s Number One Spectator Sport and are doing everything in their power to wussify the game for that rare level of mass acceptance available only to the most mediocre of entertainment options.
Reality TV shows at training camp, a shirtless Tebow in GQ for God, The Falcons’ Harry Douglas refusing to return punts in the pre-season (of course, The Falcons hold camp at a place called Flowery Branch, so what do you expect?).
I just received a call from the Grammar Nazis that I am not allowed to use commas inside parenthesis, but I’m not going to fix it. I told them I had to catch a train to the dedication of the memorial to Mussolini’s buddy Rodolfo Graziani just outside of Rome and they were OK with that. Heck, even the Pope is OK with that. The Vatican is sending a representative too…
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